We’re amidst carnival season and everyone’s playing dress-up these days, so it’s a good time as any for an article! I had a discussion with some friends the other day on what should we dress-up as. I was leaning towards the idea of a Phantom of the Opera costume. Awesome huh? I mean it’s unusual, the Phantom’s a bit creepy and terrifying, wears a half-mask (which is way cooler than a normal one) plus he carries a rapier. Ok that last part is not that cool to be honest, broadswords and guns are way cooler, but it could be a lot worse. So we’re sticking with it. It’s a respectable outfit all around, which is what’s important. So while we were talking, a friend pointed out that we should wear “manly” outfits. Now according to him, men should dress up as ninjas, cowboys, Vikings or cavemen. Well it’s a thought. It makes sense if you think about it. Ninjas carry katanas and kill people. Cowboys carry guns and kill people. Vikings carry axes and cavemen carry clubs. And kill people. They sound manly enough, don’t they? So if you still haven’t found a costume and want to score some chicks consider those ideas. Not the Phantom one. That was mine.
Now let’s talk about another carnival trend. Superhero costumes! They are a common occurrence during carnival season and pretty much everyone has, at least once, wore one. They shouldn’t have but anyway. I’d like to give a few pointers though on the off chance you are thinking of dressing up a superhero. If you wanna dress up as Superman for example (lame I know) you should never forget to wear the red underpants. Over the suit! That way people won’t recognize who you really are. It’s a must. Another thing you should keep in mind if you intend to wear a superhero costume is where you’re going to show up with it. Justin Bieber concerts are the best place. Whatever you’re wearing (even an Aquaman suit), Bieber will still look more ridiculous than you. He does suck more than Aquaman (yes this is actually possible). Moreover if you intend on impersonating a superhero, try impersonating a very famous one. Either way you’ll look ridiculous; at least make sure people recognize your costume. In the end though, the best advice I can give you on superhero costumes, is to not wear one. The tights are uncomfortable and you might trip on the cape. Plus you’ll never look cool. So avoid them and try one of the previous mentioned “manly” costumes. Or at least carry some kind of weapon. Maybe not a rapier though, it’s kinda gay. That was a really bad call from yours truly.
Yes I know what you’re thinking. All these costumes are mainly for men. The thing is, girls nowadays have an easy time picking a costume. They wear a slutty version of something. Like a slutty nurse or a slutty cat. With only a little imagination, pretty much anything can be turned into a slutty variant of itself. And it will be a respectable(?) girl costume. It’s the men that suffer the agony of whether their costumes are funny, innovative, cool or manly enough.
Concluding, I’d like to mention that I have been writing this article for a while now but, as it turns out, published it on the last day of the carnival season. Better late than never I guess. So, to all of you that my delay to publish this extremely educational article cost you that amazing impression on one of the carnival parties, I’d like to present my sincere apologies. It won’t happen again.