Δευτέρα, 26 Σεπτεμβρίου 2011

She's just not that into you...yet

So… It’s been a while. It’s ok though, I’m a busy man. Though your education and my spam through this blog is of utmost importance to me, I have other even more important shit to do. Like sleeping for example. Or drinking. Or doing nothing. Stuff that busy and important people like me do. But enough about me... Well maybe not. The purpose of this blog was to write whatever the heck I wanted, so I can talk about me all I want. Plus I have about four more hours to kill here till my flight leaves and not enough educative material for you. So I write some crap too. But anyways, I’d be long gone from this stupid airport when you'll be reading this cause there isn’t any free wi-fi here to upload the article. Let’s move to the case in point now…

Understanding women! I’m kidding, that’s impossible. For now at least. But the article is about them. And their friends. It occurred to me after some time in the field (doing social research ofc) that quite an interesting amount of girls are attracted to the man interested in (banging)  their BFF. For example: I’m doing Amy. Amy’s BFF is Lily. I have a lot more chances to do Lily as well and not some other random girl who doesn’t know Amy. This phenomenon though can be observed on a larger scale as well and not only between BFFs. Inserting that observation in the above example, as long as any girl knows I’m banging Amy, I’m good to go. In short, if you’re banging someone, you’re going to bang someone else just as easily. Just cause you’re banging someone. But that’s not new to most of you I suppose. Even if those of you girls reading this will strongly deny the truthfulness of my words, they are indeed the bitter truth. As I said before though, most of you people already know what I’m talking about.
I’m here to guide you fellow guys in exploiting this theory, a thing which many of you may lack the wits to accomplish. If you are already having a girl there is no need for exploiting. You can proceed as it pleases you. Exploiting is for those of you lacking a girl but want to start this chain of getting one girl after another. Especially getting the BFFs one after another. I don’t know why, but I find a certain sense of accomplishment in that. I suppose it’s because I’m an asshole. But tell me ladies, isn’t at least one of your exes an asshole? The answer is yes. This pretty much means that at some point in their life I’m every girl’s type. And yes my ego is the size of Jupiter. Enough of that though. Let’s get back to exploiting. Let’s say you want people to believe you have girl. But you don’t want to lie about it either cause you’re a good guy and I admire you for that, but as a good guy your future in the girl department is rather slim. Yet there is hope for you too. Begin by talking to the unknown girl you’re interested in –let’s call her Amy- about the girls in your life. Never tell her you’re being more than friendly with any one of them though. Cause well, you’re not. But she doesn’t know that. She will most likely assume you are being more than friendly with at least all of them. Girls tend to do that. The logic behind it eludes me however. Now to justify her assumptions though, Amy, will start asking questions on the matter. Most of them look like this: “Sooo your friend Lexi just hangs around at your place right?” Others though are pretty straightforward, like: “Do you sleep with Lexi? “ The key is to give the vaguest answer possible. Like, “Yes most of the time she just hangs around at my house” or “ It’s really none of your concern who I sleep with, but if you must know, no I don’t sleep with Lexi” which pretty much to the girl’s mind implies that you’re sleeping with someone else. And that if you’re sleeping with someone else and don’t want to talk about it maybe you were lying about Lexi too. But she can’t accuse you of lying without leaving herself vulnerable to the fact that she likes you and there’s where you get the upper hand in the game and you never really had to lie about anything. You were just not being very clear about your personal situation. No real harm done. And that's all folks. From here on you're on your own!

If you’re a girl and you’re still reading this crap and haven’t closed your browser and called me a loser yet, you are either really great and I’m lucky to know you ( if I don’t, I’d be lucky to know you in the future) or I’m paying you. Either way, thank you very much for your understanding and I promise you the next article will be even worse. I did say I was an asshole after all.

                                                                                                                       Mr. V
                                                                                                                               

2 σχόλια:

  1. Τι 8α γίνει, θα γράψεις τίποτα άλλο ή θα το κλείσουμε το μαγαζάκι;

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  2. First of all, how come in your "important shit to do" list sleeping is first? I thought you despised sleep.

    But enough about you. When it comes to women, a more reasonable woman -like me, or "what I consider myself being" me- can provide all the answers in a simplified way, so you, men, can comprehend.

    Of course women come to chains, once you get to know on of them, is easier to reach the one next to her. It works like toys to kids. Once you glimpse a girl, she immediately starts talking about you, whether she likes you or not, it is still a conquer. It spreads like an infection from now on. The girl next to her, probably her BFF, starts thinking of you, first of all if you are suitable for her girlfriend, then the pros and cons list comes up in her mind, and then you apparently become more suitable for her than her girlfriend. So, this is the row of things, you first like a girl and then another kid tries to steal the toy, no matter whether she really wants to play with it.

    And here is you moment to shine. Will you be the ex, asshole mentioned guy or will you break the chain for the "I think I like that girl". Well the asshole-guy gets the girl at the end, it's well-known, 'cause breaking the chain may result in breaking the chain spell that lures them all.
    I can see that you now have chosen your path, well done asshole, you may get laid. A little ceremony would be nice, but ain't nobody got time for that.
    Well, let's proceed. Let's build up your womaniser profile, girls looove it -we will come to that later-. Create a magic chain, which probably doesn't exist, and embellish it with a little mystery about you sex life, which probably doesn't exist either -no offence but you read all this biting you nails out of anxiety, or lack of sex-. You become the toy many girls have played with, and many others will in the future. Yeah, shhh, nobody has to know these are all crap. You're being vague for this reason.
    Let's come to the mystery womaniser profile we want you to have. Women, must, have to, are obligated, is mandatory, to know e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, and by saying everything, I mean even the slightest detail. It's a fulfilment for them, an accomplishment, a force to go on, to stand up to the motto "Women know everything". As the mystery unfolds, the spell dissolves, it's a rule.

    And the womaniser? It is an approval from other women. So subconsciously, they will let their selves believe you are every woman's dream. Amy, Lily, Lexi... they all want you, but you are the man here so picking her up is a great deal. So here is when you get the upper hand.

    And the rest of it? Since you got her hooked, arm with patience, and try not to lose her. Don't let your efforts go down the drain. And if nothing works, remember you have the next hoop in line, after all an asshole is hard to change.

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